My shoulders hurt: Ow! Ow!

Edited to add: Never, never will I be this lady. I know this. It's just that a writer is simply a reader who has been moved to emulation (thanks for the quote, Saul Bellow!). 


To continue:

I went for a massage last week and experienced my usual mixed-emotions massage experience. This is because massage always feels so amazing, but there's a usually a blow to my self-esteem after the massage, when the masseuse makes some sort of comment. 

To wit: once, after what I thought was a relaxing hour of massage from which I emerged blissfully soup-like, the masseuse said to me, "Um, so maybe..in future? You could, like, learn to relax your body?" 

Awesome. 

For the record

So, I've solicited YOUSE GUYS opinions on what my next blog post should be. Here's what I can gather about what folks seems interested in, so far:

Here are the most popular posts, in order of popularity. Unsurprisingly, the post Pamela Ribon tweeted comes in at a clear number one. The others are a little more puzzling.

Signs of Life: Montreal Edition (Really Old Pictures of Not-Food)

I made another (terrible) attempt at Paintbrushing some pictures, with all due acknowledgment of my rip off inspiration by my girl crush fellow blogger hyperbole and a half.

This is a building near(ish) this guy's apartment in Montreal:

Seems fairly inoffensive. But let's look more closely at the French, shall we?

Sauna mixte = Sexy times!

Extermination = BUGS!

So let's look at this picture again:

I try to draw. I put icing inside things.

I told you I'd give you some advice on how to put icing inside of cupcakes! I even made helpful drawings.

I'd like to say upfront this is totally ripped off from, er, inspired by, Hyperbole and a Half, the Old Skewl posts. But she says right here in her FAQs:

If I draw picture with MS Paint on my blog, will you think I'm copying you?

Probably not. Unless you steal my work directly or redraw/rewrite my stuff, you are good to go. I love that more people are getting interested in adding artwork to their blogs!

I even used Paintbrush (JUST LIKE HER CREEPY STARS IN EYES).

Here are some NFAQs (Not Frequently Asked Questions):

How did you get your handwriting to be so ironically and hilariously bad?

I didn't. That's just what my handwriting looks like.

But it looks like a mentally deficient five-year-old chicken wrote that stuff.

I know.

How do you function in the real world with handwriting as profoundly terribly as that?

By avoiding writing by hand whenever possible. Occasionally, I have to fill in a form by hand and people laugh at me.

Will you make me cupcakes?

No. No after you just insulted my handwriting.

First things first: I want to share what inspired my to put icing inside of cupcakes in the first place.

In the magazine section of Barnes and Noble, I saw this:

Leaving aside the sheer awesome of a magazine devoted to breakfast, let's look closely on all the various awesomeness going on in this picture:

French Toast Chocolate Sandwiches! With Bacon! And a random berry! (to keep it healthy)! For dinner!

Things I Like Collide

My "blog list" is entirely blogs-by-friends-that-I-like; I've thought occasionally of putting up blogs and sites that are not written by friends (but rather by people who convince me through their blogging that if we were ever to meet in real life, we would inevitably be best friends).

Recently, there have been some stirrings in the world-of-blogs-I-read. There's hyperbole and a half: I introduced a friend to it and then took the opportunity to catch up. I laughed so hard that my abs actually hurt; I can thus recommend it not only as a blog but as an ab work out (it's so popular at this point, tho', it really doesn't need my wee little recommendation). My laughter at this blog has also been so intense that ON TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS while I was reading it, someone came in from the other room, genuinely concerned that I was hysterically crying.

Anyway, friend-I-introduced-to-it was a fan and I was like "I know! She's so great! Why she doesn't have a book is beyond me!" Then the next morning, hyperbole and a half announced that she was, indeed, coming out with a book.

[Insert joke here about how now is the appropriate time to ask the universe for a million dollars, etc.]

I've also read pamie (comedy writer Pamela Ribon) for many years. I've even bought two of her books, as a thank-you what-not for all the free content she's provided me.

Anyway, I went to the Tucson Roller Derby championships the other day (bear with me, THIS IS ACTUALLY AN EXCELLENT SEGUE JUST WAIT). Anyway, Roller Derby has recently come into popular consciousness because of Whip It, which I have not seen (but plan to!) and round about the same time, Pamela Ribon came out with a book, Going in Circles, which is a fictionalized account of her experiences with roller derby and divorce (which I have not read, but plan to!)

So I went to roller derby, which reminded me of pamie, so I checked it, and she has a really excellent piece about being a female writer in comedy, sparked by pilot/tv staffing season and Tina Fey's Bossypants (which I have read parts of).

Then today, I checked jezebel, a site I frequently read, and the first post is all about female writers in TV, and it quotes Pamie's post.

So. Do I:

(1) Have my finger right on the beating heart of popular feminist consciousness;

(2) Have clairvoyant abilities;

or

(3) Way too much time on my hands to surf the Internet.

Next, I expect Go Fug Yourself to write a piece on Supernatural that references Marcel Proust and romance novels and all of my obsessions will come together in an explosion of sparkles and rainbows (Go Fug Yourself is also pretty good at addressing my obsessions, from their eerily-similar-to-mine preoccupation with Brenda on the original 90210 [edited to add: I cannot find this on their new, advertisement-heavy layout! Boo!] to their Britney Spears Monologues.)

So, I guess I'll put these blogs on my blog list, seeing as how there's clearly a psychic link there. I should put a permanent link to Bossypants up there, too, seeing as how I've mentioned it so much, despite only having read sections. Oh! Oh! I can also link to Yogurt for the billionth time! [Note: Billion = four]. Because her latest is about a female-written comedy! Ha ha! (Let's see if I can figure out a way to link to her in every post).

Finally, have some pictures of roller derby: