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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Awesome Things My Next Blog Post Will Include

Received a text from Jason, saying, "Also stop reading this text and update your damn blog, slacker. Surely you could post about the wedding! Or weddings in general!"

I have indeed been to TWO awesome weddings recently. And I do have a long blog entry planned, which will include many awesome things: recipes, my ex-vegetarian back story, thoughts on leather jackets, bacon cupcakes, Julia Gazdag, who I met at the Portland wedding and who writes for Hello Giggles, which Pamela Ribon whom I have stalked written about writes for omg world so small etc etc etc. and more!

That's right. Bacon cupcakes:

But right now I'm busy blah blah blah grading book reviews novel revisions articles about weddings interviews etc etc etc. It's not like I'm sitting around in a Twilight t-shirt putting a Storm Trooper helmet on my head.

Oh wait.

I may have done that -- just that one time.

Not to worry -- that was a joke. I'm not that big of a nerd. It's not like I go around with broken glasses taped together in the middle. 

Oh wait.

Okay, so I broke my glasses in a tragic yoga accident! I was doing a headstand and I stepped on them! (Don't ask).  I'm getting new ones. 

I can feel you judging me...
If you look very, very closely at this last picture, you can see the small scar in my eyebrow from when I walked into a plastic revolving door outside the Whole Foods in Columbus Circle. Yes, I walked into a revolving door. I had to get stitches. And this was not the only time that I've walked into a door. While finishing my MFA thesis, I was thinking through the last scene and I walked into a door in my apartment and starting bleeding from my nose. My main concern was that a hospital visit was going to mean I wouldn't finish my thesis on time. My nose stopped bleeding and I reflected that I was actually really lucky because there is a scene in my novel where someone gets punched in the face and now I could use this experience (nose to door) as a guide. So I wrote the scene. While covered in my own blood. 

Which is to say, it's a miracle I even make it through a day, guys. There's a pretty high Stupidity Cost involved in being me. So I'll get that blog entry -- bacon cupcakes! Hello Giggles! vegetarian recidivism! -- up but keep in mind that I might break my glasses while doing yoga or walk into a door in the meantime and this might delay things. 

What's that you say? You want to see me making faces into my computer while wearing my broken glasses?? Gracious, well, if you insist....

 You see? I'm busy. I simply had to take time out of my day to make faces into my computer. And I had to make many difficult choices about which pictures to post!

For instance, I thought about posting this one: 
But I thought it was too similar to the devil horns I was making in the Storm Trooper helmet picture. See? I'm a thoughtful artist.

Other people are more productive than me. My mom wrote a book on Intelligent Virtue. It's called Intelligent Virtue. My friend's boyfriend started a business making furniture. Want some furniture? Check it out!

I love you all and I give you big broken-glasses kisses.


Ann said...

Laura - I love you.

Easy O said...