Okay, so "The Time that the Apple Company Accused Me of Peeing on My Computer" won decisively, which was to be expected--I mean, the title is just so weird.
I think the only reason I was hesitant to post that story was because I'd told that story in person so many times. If you were a friend of mine who lived in Minneapolis around 2007-2008, you not only had to live through stages of the story with me, but you got to hear the story, like, more times than you probably wanted to. But but but! There are others out there who haven't heard it! AND SO I WILL TELL AGAIN AND HOPEFULLY TELL WELL.
But I want to put a decent amount of energy into the post (yes, the story involves urine--well, no, actually, the story involves no urine that I knew about, ONLY THE ACCUSATION OF URINE) but to give you the full context would probably take awhile, although the punchline is sort of spoiled in the title.
And right now I am sick. "I'll baby-sit your sick child!" I said. "I never get sick!" I said. "Okay, I'm sick, I can still do stuff!" I said. "I'll just take some cold medicine!" I said. "I can still drink!" I said.
This cold or whatever it is--it's the Terminator of colds. It's the Terminator paparazzi robots in Britney Spear's "I Wanna Go" video:
As I've said before on this blog, I rarely get sick and so have the Healthy Person's Smug Skepticism about illness: like, really? Are you really sick? Just because you're "sick" you can't come out drinking? Really? Are "allergies" like a real thing? Are you sure?
And then when I get sick myself, I have no built-up emotional resources and basically end up feeling like this:
If you recognize this gif, you're a big nerd with too much time on your hands
just like me and I LOVE YOU LET'S HANG OUT WHEN I'M NOT DYING! (Taken from here.)
The point being, The Apple Accusation of Pee Post will be up soon, but right now I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself.